Posted in Challenges, drama, fantasy, flash fiction, Prose, Writing

Journey Into the Night

The cold wind was howling, and its wretched song seemed to reflect what was going on inside my soul. As the flock of hollow-eyed crows veiled the sky, I knew it was the end. Nothing constrained me, but I was captive; my brother would make sure the wheatfield stretched out forever from where I was standing, so I’d have no safe place to run.

I said his name so quietly I couldn’t hear my own voice. The next second, my twin stood in front of me. Only his expression was the complete opposite of mine—confident, fearless, murderous. I smiled and closed my eyes, asking him to make it quick.

“This can stop,” he said.

“How?”

He pointed to the birds.

“They claim they can help find the wizard that cursed us.”

In different worlds and in multitudes of lifetimes, we would be born twins, both gifted with magic and the memory of our past lives, and both mortally ill. The sickness would leave one twin only after the other died and plunged into limbo until the next cycle.

“Let’s go,” I said, not caring if it was a trick or whose trick it was.

We followed the crows into the night.

Vincent_van_Gogh_(1853-1890)_-_Wheat_Field_with_Crows_(1890)


Written for Jane Dougherty’s Microfiction Challenge.

I so love this painting. Van Gogh is awesome *dreamy sigh*

All comments are welcome!

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Author:

Absolutely fantastic procrastinator. Creative, often irrational, hyperactive. Reader, writer, artist, photographer, film-maker, gamer.

12 thoughts on “Journey Into the Night

  1. I like the glimpse of this story. It maybe tries to explain too much and gets a bit confusing in the penultimate paragraph, because of the word limit I expect. I’d say, provide less explanation in this piece and carry it over to a second episode, or make the explanation simple enough to fit into 200 words. I love the way it ends. Really makes you wish there was another chapter.

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    1. Yeah, I tried to keep to the 200 word limit so the explanation does look a bit out of place. I actually had a pretty grim ending in my mind but it didn’t fit, too. Maybe it’s a chance to write a happy end instead=) Thank you for your feedback, Jane!

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      1. What I’d do in cases like when you feel you have to squash the story to make it fit the word count, is write two different versions. If you can’t fit the story into 200 words, write a version that does fit, but also write a version as long as you need to tell the story as you want it. When you have to write blurbs, having the knack of writing very succinct prose is a big help. This is all good practice. So take your medicine and have fun later 🙂

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      2. You’re right. Writing flash fiction does help with editing skills and having practised it a while, I find it much easier writing my longer work. What’s hard for me is making deals with my imagination. I have an idea which can easily be told in under 200 words, then in the middle of writing, my mind says, oh hey, look, you could continue that sentence and write this and that… doesn’t help when the prompt is Van Gogh=D His works are one of my constant sources of inspiration.

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      3. I can understand that 🙂 That’s why I said to write two separate stories. Look on the short one as an exercise in style, and let your imagination take flight in the longer one.

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